The game of Croquet

When you play croquet, it is essential to the game that everyone speak with an accent. Someone has to be Scottish, someone has to be British, and then a third person must be a pirate. Anyone after that is not allowed to be a nationality from anywhere in Europe. They must be either Indian, Chinese, or Trobriandian. While using these accents, you must speak in stereotypical slurs, insulting the other players for their respective nationalities and making fun of the way they hit the balls. And in the end, the Scottish person is always the winner. Always.

Until the Day I Die

For all the people who are pretty sure they're consuming near lethal doses of caffeinated things

Death by Caffeine

Nothing puts me in the holiday mood like counting down cups of coffee until I combust.

Mmmm, internships....

I've been posting a lot the past few days, but rest assured that this does not indicate an increase in the amount of thinking that I've been doing--it is simply an increase in the amount of time I have at my disposal to create useless blog posts. Today's topic: internships.

Everyone at G-dub is supposed to have an internship somewhere in their college career. Why? Because it looks really good on a resume and there is no reason to pay as much as we do and look bad on your resume. So around the time you become a sophomore, there's this big rush to try and get the best internships on the hill, keeping in mind that while G-dub kids are undoubtedly the closest to Capital Hill, we are still competing with kids from Georgetown, American, Catholic, and George Mason, all of whom have kids that came to DC for the same reason G-dub kids did. Your best bet is to try and get an internship with a senator or representative from your home state. Lucky enough for me, I am officially considered a resident of the great state of California now, which makes me eligible to apply for internships with such wonderful people as Speaker-Elect Nancy Pelosi, or Senator Dianne Feinstein (who is a ranking member of the Judiciary committee and the Terrorism and Homeland Security Subcommittee). I'm not going so far as to say that I think I'm guaranteed internships with either Congresswoman, but it's nice to know that I have the residency requirement down.

It has also been brought to my attention that the Japan Information and Culture Center (part of the Japanese Embassy) is looking for some interns as well. If the application wasn't due in a week and a half, I think I might have a shot at that one, but unfortunately, I don't think I do. It would be an amazing opportunity too, perhaps give me a chance to make my Japanese suck less. I'm sure that even if I don't qualify for this internship, I'll at least have fun applying. Maybe my Japanese teacher would write me a recommendation.... (*snicker*).

Anyway, the point of all of this is the experience. Not only does it look great on a resume to say that you worked for some important senator or a foreign embassy, it makes you feel good too. It's a good way to spend your school year doing something beyond reading a thousand different textbooks or writing a million different essays. It's an opportunity to show something for your years as an undergrad. Internships combine the benefits of a part-time job and an educational resource. Even if you don't go to some big DC school, I thoroughly encourage all of my undergrad listeners out there to see about nabbing an internship in your field of study. The experience is something unrivaled, and certain to be one of the more interesting experiences of your four years in college.

Isolated and Alone

Sometimes I really wish there was a device that could transcribe your thoughts for you. I was walking around campus today, looking at the empty streets and thinking about how strange it was that there were no people lined up in front of Starbucks or vending machines sitting in front of the library. In my head, it was really eloquent and well-thought out. Sitting here in front of my computer, however, I feel kind of let down by my lack of ability to describe exactly what it is I felt. If I could write a book copying down exactly what goes on in my head, I would be a published author many times over.

I rather enjoy the feeling of isolation I get walking around campus with everyone gone. The only people on the streets are quiet, caught up in their own thoughts or purposes. It's easy to imagine they aren't even there, and that you're the only person out walking, particularly if it's nighttime. I enjoy people, and I enjoy being around people, but there are just some times when being alone is the most comforting feeling in the world. The night air is cool, and when you can bundle up, you feel complete, content, alone. It's such an amazing feeling, walking without a real destination in mind, the only person on the street. I enjoy feeling that way when the rest of the world gets too busy. All the students normally on campus are just so busy, hurrying between classes and work and internships. I admit, most of the time I'm one of those students too. Walking alone at night, the isolation I feel is the most comforting feeling in the world.

And now for something completely different--
"I know what will make you feel better..."
"Oh no, Michael, not another box of dogs!"
"Another box of dogs!"

A positive Thanksgiving?

The holiday season is engineered to make people think. Stuffed with carb-loaded and rich foods, it really begs you to sit around and consider life, since you aren't up for doing much else in your fattened state. Thanksgiving in particular is supposed to be all about counting the things you're grateful for. It is in this spirit that I offer up this blog.

Unlike most students, I'm staying on campus this Thanksgiving break. More than that, my one good friend who is also staying on campus with me hates Thanksgiving and all Thanksgiving food. I, on the other hand, have quite a sentimental attachment to Thanksgiving. I've always looked forward to the family and food that come with Thanksgiving. So despite the fact that I'm here alone, I'm trying very hard to be positive and thankful. I made my dinner: turkey roast, mashed potatoes, and crescent rolls--all the best parts of Thanksgiving food. I know it's no one's fault that I'm spending my first Thanksgiving alone. I just want to send out a message to all those people who's parents are willing and able to bring them home more than twice a year--be thankful for the fact that you can spend this time with the people you care about. I know we're all stressed out; exams are coming up and we're all tired and cranky from the beginning part of the semester. I know that you're all going to spend the weekend sleeping in late, eating home-cooked meals, and being annoyed by you family that you conveniently forgot was annoying while you were away. But I hope you spend at least a little bit of time thinking about how lucky you are and how thankful you should be that you have this chance to get away and unwind.

I know that this isn't much to be offering up today, but it seems to be the best I can come up with while trying to beat the migraine monkey that is currently bashing on my head. >.<

At least its not drugs

I've been known to spend outrageously when I get depressed. The addition of new pretties to my collection of material possessions is usually enough to distract me from whatever is going wrong in life. This semester has been no exception. While I have been having a wonderful semester so far, it has been a wonderful semester because I've been ignoring all the things that make me unhappy, rather than dealing with them. So far this year, I've bought myself a new computer (Nanashi), a new mp3 player (unnamed), a trip to Singapore, one of those slim PS2s (also as of yet unnamed) complete with both kingdom Hearts games, and a myriad of different pieces of clothing, jewelry, and shoes. These pretty things make me happy, if only for the fact that they are new and shiny. I know that they don't make all the bad things right. I know that they don't fix my emotional issues. But they do a good job of distracting me from all the stress and unhappiness that otherwise might consume me if I didn't have anything to distract me.

I've been told that this is just part of the coping process and that I shouldn't worry about it. But I can't really go around racking up my credit card bill to support my depression. I need to find a better way to deal with all the stress and drama of being a college student. My tuition is expensive enough without having to support a habit on top of it.

At least it's not drugs, right? ^_^

My secret pain

I know its not good to be laughing at someone else's pain, but I just can't help myself sometimes. Other people's pain is just so funny....

I mean...

I can't believe he's so abusive. So he says he was just trying to lay down next to me, but really he was trying to knee me in the kidneys. Seriously? You didn't mean to knee me in the kidney, cause me pain? Sure. I believe you. NOT. Who "accidentally" knees someone else in the kidney? Seriously!

^_^

I'm an awful person.

Dying in Real Life

I wish I could say that I have a brilliant political rhetoric to go along with this cartoon, but I am sad to admit that I do not. It just made me smile today, which was nice. I enjoy the occasional dumb humor....

Life's Gonna Suck

This s a special moment right now,
We'd like to take this time to tell all the kids at home,
Send your parents out of the room this is a kid's song.
Life's gonna suck when you grow up,
When you grow up, when you grow up
Life's gonna suck when you grow up,
It sucks pretty bad right now.

Hey! If you know the words, Sing along!

You're gonna hafta mow the lawn,
Do the dishes, make your bed.
You're gonna hafta go to school until you're seven-teen.
It's gonna seem about three times as long as that

You might have to go to war, shoot a gun, kill a nun.
You might have to go to war, when you get out of school.
Hey cheer up kids, it gets a lot worse.

You're gonna hafta deal with stress
Deal with stress, deal with stress.
You're gonna be a giant mess
When you get back from the war.

Santa Clause does not exist, and there's no Easter Bunny,
You'll find out when you grow up, that Big Bird isn't funny.
(funny, funny, hahahahaha!)

Life's gonna suck when you grow up,
When you grow up, when you grow up
Life's gonna suck when you grow up,
It sucks pretty bad right now.

You're gonna end up smoking crack, on your back, face the fact.
You're gonna end up hooked on smack, and then you're gonna die.

And then you're gonna die-ie-ie-ie-ie.

Something for the kids,
Well, I think I smell a lawsuit in that one, What do you think?

-Dennis Leary, Life's Gonna Suck When You Grow Up

Dennis Leary gets a good star for truthiness today. His biting sarcasm and bitter insight are certainly deserving of one.

As a side note, I'm not quite sure why I'm keeping this thing around. The whole blogger name has bad memories attached to it, and I know no one even cares to read this thing. I think I'm going to make a new xanga for the occasion. Something spiffy that can counterpart this blogger as part of my ambition to start over with life. Yeah, that sounds yummy....

My Gaurdianship of an Angel

Last night, I had the opportunity to help out an angel. Being Halloween weekend, most of the students on the college campus were a) drunk and b) dressed up and going out to various costume parties. I was on the elevator in my dorm room, preparing to go to work, when it stops at the second floor. I'm preparing to get indignant with the person who feels the need to use the elevator from the second floor (which should not be done unless the person uses a wheelchair or is on crutches), when the door opens up to an angel.

Now, it's about 40 F outside, made even more miserable with the rain. This girl is wearing white fishnet stockings and a garter belt, and what I can only describe as a corset with a mini-skirt attached to it. She's pretty well endowed in the chestal-area, which is very noticeable since she's popping out the top of her "dress". She even has wings and a halo, both of which are very skewed. And did I mention she's obviously inebriated? She can barely stand up, which probably wasn't helped by the fact that she was wearing high heels. So when she got on the elevator, I didn't give her a hard time like I normally do--I mean really, if I was wearing shoes like that there is no way I would make it down the stairs without falling on my ass.

This angel was so drunk, it took her three tries to find her way out the elevator. I asked her wear she was going, and she told me that she was meeting her friends at outside one of the freshman dorms so they could got out to a party. I figured that if this girl had trouble with elevator doors, there was absolutely no way she was going to make it the two blocks down the street to meet her friends. Those stairs can be tricky. So I walked her down the street to the other dorm. Turns out her friends were standing outside panicking because they couldn't find her. So I returned the angel to her friends and went on to work, feeling just a little better about myself.

It took a little while for the irony of the whole situation to hit me. Now I just think it was kinda funny.

Messages in Chalk

I've decided that I hate election season. I hate the useless campaign ads that bash candidates without actually saying one word about the views of the other party. I hate the lame gimmicks--the blowpops and candy bars with VOTE BLAH BLAH BLAH on them, the concerts aimed at college students. And I really hate the people who go around writing stupid things on sidewalks in hopes that it's actually going to change someone's mind about what they're going to vote on Election Day.

That's what has me more than anything right now. I'm walking back home from the library and I find the ground under my feet littered with chalk messages about all the reasons to vote democrat this election season. They read things like "It's Iraq stupid" and "If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention". There's nothing about how the Democrats are going to make things better if they get elected to office. Their slurs all basically amount to the same message--Vote Democrat because it's not Republican. If that's the best they can come up with, we're totally screwed.

In a two-party system, the political parties can't deviate too far from the middle line, where the majority of voters reside. That doesn't mean that there aren't some controversial issues in the two parties platforms. Favorites this year seem to include gay rights and the abortion issue. So why can't the GW College Democrats write more messages like that on the sidewalks? You really think your chalking is going to make any difference to the people who don't know what they're going to vote come election day? You really think that by reminding people that there is a war in Iraq they're going to think to themselves, "Oh yeah. Man I forgot about that Iraq thing. I wonder how that's going to influence my vote?" Fuck no they aren't. They're going to think "Oh yeah. War in Iraq. I'm glad I'm voting for so and so." The majority of people who stop to read these dumb little messages aren't going to get anything out of them anyway.

I've been a self-proclaimed liberal since I was old enough to understand the difference between liberal and conservative . Contrary to what most people think, this DOES NOT make me a Democrat. In fact, more and more recently I've found myself agreeing with a more conservative view of international affairs--even some domestic issues. This DOES NOT make me a conservative. But the best part is, it doesn't really matter. I can think what ever I want about whatever I want. I can vote any way I please (which I just did by mail a few days ago) and I don't have to pretend to be influenced by the stupid signs people write on the sidewalks reminding people that the Democrats exist. It would really be more effective on a college campus to just write signs reminding people to vote, because I think that voter turnout is by far the larger problem to whether or not you reminded someone that the war in Iraq exists. Believe me, no one has forgotten.

Heaven's gates won't open up for me
With these broken wings I'm falling
And all I see is you

-Nickelback, Savin' Me