On days like this, I really think that sloth is going to be what kills me.
It's barely past 5, but somehow I am so tired that all I want to do is say screw you to the rest of my day and just go to bed. This would be a bad idea for several reasons, but the more I can't find something to do the more I think that those reasons are a bunch of b.s. Must find something to distract self, or my sleep schedule will never get back on track. >.<
In other related news, I need either a job or a hobby to keep me busy. This whole doing nothing all the time thing is not going so well.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
freak out!
My roommate says that I shouldn't be freaking out about my life and future right now, but I don't know that I agree. I think I have quite a bit to freak out about, regardless of the fact that I know that freaking out isn't going to do any good for anyone. Freaking out is still doing something, right? Something is better than nothing.
Just a little bit too much going on in my head right now. Four months doesn't seem like a lot of time for some reason. I have plans and wants and desires, but getting there....well getting there is going to be something else. Just gotta keep all the crazy in my head until then.
I wonder if its possible to the metal of an earring to get them out of your ears. I have no clue how to get them out otherwise.
Just a little bit too much going on in my head right now. Four months doesn't seem like a lot of time for some reason. I have plans and wants and desires, but getting there....well getting there is going to be something else. Just gotta keep all the crazy in my head until then.
I wonder if its possible to the metal of an earring to get them out of your ears. I have no clue how to get them out otherwise.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Crowded
Why is it that all the cool jobs I want to do require either a graduate degree or some kind of experience in the field for which I'd be working. Seems like it would make it more difficult to get into a line of work, not less.
I had a little bit of a freak out today over a cup of all things, and then spent the rest of the evening trying not to kill someone over it. Tomorrow is the inauguration, so I didn't take my customary middle of the afternoon nap. I need to sleep tonight if there is any hope of me waking up and actually making it down to the National Mall tomorrow morning. A friend and I are supposed to be heading down there some time in the AM, though whether that means we'll be leaving really early or not has yet to be decided. I have already resigned myself to the fact that I'm not going to be able to see a damn thing tomorrow, much less hear anything over the din of the crowd that will be gathering, but it still seems that just by being there I will be witnessing history (never mind the fact that I'm obviously too short to see over anyone's head).
I must say though, I am quite ready to be done with all of the people who have migrated to the city in the past couple of days. The majority of them mind their own business, pay for what they take, and don't give native inhabitants like me any problems. Others, however, decorate themselves with pictures of dead fetuses and walk around in areas where there are children in plain sight. Others sit on the street corners begging for food like a homeless person, despite the fact that there are real people who really do need food out there. It just bothers me. I'm excited for the whole thing, but at the same time I could do without all the people who dive all the way here to see it.
I'm going to attempt to spend the rest of the night doing my reading and prep for the classes I'm eventually going to have this week. Better do it now than worry about it later I suppose
I had a little bit of a freak out today over a cup of all things, and then spent the rest of the evening trying not to kill someone over it. Tomorrow is the inauguration, so I didn't take my customary middle of the afternoon nap. I need to sleep tonight if there is any hope of me waking up and actually making it down to the National Mall tomorrow morning. A friend and I are supposed to be heading down there some time in the AM, though whether that means we'll be leaving really early or not has yet to be decided. I have already resigned myself to the fact that I'm not going to be able to see a damn thing tomorrow, much less hear anything over the din of the crowd that will be gathering, but it still seems that just by being there I will be witnessing history (never mind the fact that I'm obviously too short to see over anyone's head).
I must say though, I am quite ready to be done with all of the people who have migrated to the city in the past couple of days. The majority of them mind their own business, pay for what they take, and don't give native inhabitants like me any problems. Others, however, decorate themselves with pictures of dead fetuses and walk around in areas where there are children in plain sight. Others sit on the street corners begging for food like a homeless person, despite the fact that there are real people who really do need food out there. It just bothers me. I'm excited for the whole thing, but at the same time I could do without all the people who dive all the way here to see it.
I'm going to attempt to spend the rest of the night doing my reading and prep for the classes I'm eventually going to have this week. Better do it now than worry about it later I suppose
unsure
This is the problem with waking up at 1pm--half your day is gone and you have accomplished nothing. I did manage to clean the kitchen and living room, but somehow I don't feel good about it, like I've still wasting my time on things that aren't important.
I should do some work, translate some sources for my thesis, work on things that need to get done, but the fact that my loan company has screwed up my repayment schedule and the library and gym are closed doesn't really endear me to the idea of trying to do anything productive. I am constantly aware of the fact that I have less than four months to find an a place to live and a plan for my life, and I'm unsure and scared and being unproductive doesn't help at all. I know I need to get off my butt and do something, but I still feel like I have no idea what it is that I need to do.
I should do some work, translate some sources for my thesis, work on things that need to get done, but the fact that my loan company has screwed up my repayment schedule and the library and gym are closed doesn't really endear me to the idea of trying to do anything productive. I am constantly aware of the fact that I have less than four months to find an a place to live and a plan for my life, and I'm unsure and scared and being unproductive doesn't help at all. I know I need to get off my butt and do something, but I still feel like I have no idea what it is that I need to do.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
the in-crowd
It's quite something to watch 5 million people all walking towards the same location. There is a concert on the National Mall today, and, had I not just awoken myself, I'm sure I would be one of them. Instead I'm sitting inside, blogging, like the lame person I am, and plan to open my window about the time the concert starts to see what all the fuss is about.
Aside from a random fire drill last night at around 2am, the weekend so far has been pretty low key. Not going to make any judgements about the weekend yet though.
Aside from a random fire drill last night at around 2am, the weekend so far has been pretty low key. Not going to make any judgements about the weekend yet though.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
personal pep talk
It never ceases to amaze me how quickly I can cycle from perfectly all right to insecure and scared. Of course, this is my future that we're talking about here, so I suppose that a little anxiety is understandable. I have plans for correcting the insecurities, but sitting around listening to other people talk about their grand plans just makes me feel...scared I guess. I should keep perspective on the whole thing; not everyone knows how their life is going to work out when they graduate from undergrad. I just wish I had more of an idea than what i have right now. I wish I had a better plan, or a more well defined plan at least.
Just stick to your resolutions, right? Do what's best for you and take things as they come. Breathe.
Just stick to your resolutions, right? Do what's best for you and take things as they come. Breathe.
resolve
My New Year's resolutions are as thus:
--to be a more healthy person
--to get into a pattern of exercising regularly
--to improve my mental attitude towards life
I don't know how all this is going to go, but so far everything seems okay. I certainly think its all worth the effort in the long run, whatever the long run may be.
My classes appear to be going well so far. I'm getting ready for my History of Modern Japan class at the moment, something I know quite a bit about. I accidentally slept through a class already, but I don't predict that it should be a problem in the future. It is my last semester after all. I feel that I should be getting my money's worth from this whole experience. Tomorrow I plan to make an appearance at the Career Center to look into options post May 17th. I also plan on beginning my regime at the health and wellness center tomorrow morning, waking up early and getting on track to forming a habit of being active.
Obviously, anyone who had been paying attention things over the past couple of weeks knows that things in DC are getting pretty active in preparation for the Inauguration. The construction that has been going on for years has been suddenly completed. Streets that haven't been cleaned in months are suddenly spotless. The price of food is absolutely insane; a week's worth of groceries cost me about as much as I could ususally get for two or more weeks. Security on campus, where I live, has been increased tenfold. From Monday afternoon, there is a no-drive-zone being imposed on the campus. Rent-a-cops are supposed to be checking IDs all over the place. Guests have to be registered with the university, and there are rumors that Secret Service and the National Guard may also be present. Amid all this, there is just so much to do that I'm starting to get really excited about the whole thing. There's a huge free concert Sunday afternoon, with Bruce Springsteen, Beyonce, Mary J Blige, Bono, and soooo many others, all right on the National Mall. Of course there is the parade, and then the Inauguration itself. I haven't decided which I'll be going to. It's supposed to be some ridiculous degree of cold outside that day, and perhaps with a chance of rain. Somehow though, I think it would be waste of my four years here if I didn't show my face at the Inauguration. Screaming my head off, surrounded by 5 million or so people who are doing the same... there is just something appealing about it that may not be apparent from my description. I was at the White House after the election results were read, and feeling the energy coming from those people was one of the most incredible experiences. I imagine that, despite the difference in the size of the crowd, the feeling that I would have being there would be much of the same. Besides, how many chances do you have to be present at the inauguration of the first African-American president after all?
--to be a more healthy person
--to get into a pattern of exercising regularly
--to improve my mental attitude towards life
I don't know how all this is going to go, but so far everything seems okay. I certainly think its all worth the effort in the long run, whatever the long run may be.
My classes appear to be going well so far. I'm getting ready for my History of Modern Japan class at the moment, something I know quite a bit about. I accidentally slept through a class already, but I don't predict that it should be a problem in the future. It is my last semester after all. I feel that I should be getting my money's worth from this whole experience. Tomorrow I plan to make an appearance at the Career Center to look into options post May 17th. I also plan on beginning my regime at the health and wellness center tomorrow morning, waking up early and getting on track to forming a habit of being active.
Obviously, anyone who had been paying attention things over the past couple of weeks knows that things in DC are getting pretty active in preparation for the Inauguration. The construction that has been going on for years has been suddenly completed. Streets that haven't been cleaned in months are suddenly spotless. The price of food is absolutely insane; a week's worth of groceries cost me about as much as I could ususally get for two or more weeks. Security on campus, where I live, has been increased tenfold. From Monday afternoon, there is a no-drive-zone being imposed on the campus. Rent-a-cops are supposed to be checking IDs all over the place. Guests have to be registered with the university, and there are rumors that Secret Service and the National Guard may also be present. Amid all this, there is just so much to do that I'm starting to get really excited about the whole thing. There's a huge free concert Sunday afternoon, with Bruce Springsteen, Beyonce, Mary J Blige, Bono, and soooo many others, all right on the National Mall. Of course there is the parade, and then the Inauguration itself. I haven't decided which I'll be going to. It's supposed to be some ridiculous degree of cold outside that day, and perhaps with a chance of rain. Somehow though, I think it would be waste of my four years here if I didn't show my face at the Inauguration. Screaming my head off, surrounded by 5 million or so people who are doing the same... there is just something appealing about it that may not be apparent from my description. I was at the White House after the election results were read, and feeling the energy coming from those people was one of the most incredible experiences. I imagine that, despite the difference in the size of the crowd, the feeling that I would have being there would be much of the same. Besides, how many chances do you have to be present at the inauguration of the first African-American president after all?
Sunday, January 11, 2009
back in fuzzy bunny slippers
We have a new roommate this semester. If I wasn't still absolutely fed up with the crap that my roommate and her illegal boyfriend keep pulling, I might care. As it is I'm just hoping that this is someone who is going to stand up for herself. It would make me incredibly happy.
Tomorrow is the first day of my last semester as an undergrad. Holy shit I don't think I'm ready for this. I'm supposed to have all the time in the world.
I've had too much to do to write, but now that I'm back in school and procrastinating away, I think it's time to come up with something fun to say about life, the universe, and everything. Just perhaps not when I'm sick and tryng to avoid the above mentioned topics.
Tomorrow is the first day of my last semester as an undergrad. Holy shit I don't think I'm ready for this. I'm supposed to have all the time in the world.
I've had too much to do to write, but now that I'm back in school and procrastinating away, I think it's time to come up with something fun to say about life, the universe, and everything. Just perhaps not when I'm sick and tryng to avoid the above mentioned topics.
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