Tired

Well, it's a good thing I'm already dead inside, because otherwise I would be a lot more upset about the past 24 hours. Yay!

I bought my Kingdom Hearts game for myself a couple days ago, and so far it's made me pretty happy. I don't think I enjoyed it as much as I thought I would though, especially since I'm feeling pretty damn exhausted from the past couple of hours and all I really want to do right now is sleep. I hate feeling alone and useless, but I hate even more that other people can make me feel like crap but I lack the ability to make myself feel better. I mean really, how fair is that? I should have more control over myself than other people have over me. The worst part is I'm not sure if its just a mental thing that I don't understand or if it's just a part of my personality that until now I haven't realized. Is it something I can help, or is it just another character flaw that I need to adjust for the rest of my life? Who really knows?

My family was blessed with a nephew this past week, a healthy baby boy. I won't get to meet the child for a while; such that I don't even really know when. I will have to make up for it by spending lots of time with my sister's child, whom I know to be an adorable child and love like he was my own. Which, for all I know, may be the closest that I ever get to being a mother. I'm so positive today!